Wednesday, June 2, 2010

God's Chosen Director...

“A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard.” Billy Wilder

Sorry I have been zoning in and out of the blog world but the stress of finishing the movie and now trying to sell it has taken life out of me. Sometimes I feel like that our future for next 6 months is like this Bollywood song “All is well” – words of the song go “ murghi kya jaane ande ka kya hoga – life milenge ya tave pe fry hoga” duly translated it means – “hen does not know what will happen to the egg it lays –will it get life or will it fried tomorrow? “

I wake up in mornings with this panicky feeling on what’s going to happen- and I thought raising money was stressful! Though I must say that only one person who is very happy with state of my misery is my hair stylist ☹ you see from last year greys in my hair have been on ever increase mode – not raised enough money – one grey makes it’s presence – extras did not show up- one more grey, agent did not call – u guessed it Mr. grey pops up again ☹ and so on…

Though I must say I am at least bit better of then my director – he is almost completely grey – he once dyed his hair and they turned a crazy shade of red from black in few days – since then he has given up dyeing his hair.

He has gone through a lot in last one year – and when I say a lot – I MEAN A LOT!!! Out of all his soul searching journeys I would like to write about “Spiderman – revenge of the spider”.

It was May 2009 and my director headed out to howdy state of Texas to meet some potential investors. It never worked out with them, so it was not money but a spider bite that he bought back. He initially thought it was an in grown hair and tried to remove it with a pin- ughhh sounds like a gory scene from a movie! But it just did not come out – The area around the knee kept growing blacker and wider. He could hardly walk and finally after 2 days of agony he got admitted to hospital.

The Doctors took couple of blood tests and gravely pronounced it as a Spider bite. Finally after spending the whole Memorial Day weekend at the hospital he did get cured though my nephew was very disappointed with the whole out come of this incident – he really thought that spider bite would turn director into a Spiderman. But such thing only happen in movies:)

Though I must say that it did turn him into a great director – Our movie looks really kick ass - Hmmm do spiders carry creative juice serum?

We did weather lot of storms, tornados, hurricanes to make this movie and the director as he is the captain of the ship had to navigate through the roughest of them.

So who is a director? What does he do? The web definition says he is some one who directs the movie but for me they are the people who are responsible for everything that you watch on screen–they are involved in all aspects of film making, creative and administrative. They are the ones who work the longest on the film from conception to final delivery on print. They are the ones who can get the maximum credit for films success and maximum criticism for its failure.

They really and truly deserve all the accolades for the hard work they have put in.

That’s why I think it’s very important for the studios and producers to be always on look out for new and emerging talent they just have such a fresh and new perspective and take on things.

Don’t you guys get upset when you see movies like Robin Hood, Sex in the city?
I mean firstly we could make 20 movies in their budget, 20 BETTER, NICER, AMAZING FILMS IN THAT BUDGET. I read somewhere that SATC 2 spent about 10 million dollars on their wardrobe for what – to make those old women look young- phuleaseeeee!!!!!

Robin hood –as far a my memories of the folklore goes Robin hood was this young supple man with amazing cunning and intelligence not some who is almost 50 and has a sagging body and seems like he is suffering a constant hangover!

Can another Mr. Weinstein stand up and become a messiah for Independent, talented film makers and give them an opportunity to make great cinema at a reasonable budget?

On that thought I will wind up this blog and as usual here is little something I read on the Internet – hope it makes you smile.

Au revoir


"God's Chosen Director"

After a venerable career of endless, stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime and preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he unexpectedly dies and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate.
"So sorry about your untimely death," he tells the director. "But God himself has called you home. You see, God wants you to direct a movie for Him."
The great man is humbled, "God wants ME to direct a film?"
"Yes," St. Peter tells him. "And we've arranged to have the best of everything made available to you. For example, the script is by William Shakespeare."
The director is stunned, "An original screenplay by William Shakespeare?"
"Yes," St. Peter assures him, "And it's his greatest work ever."
"Wow!" says the Director, awe struck.
"Your Production Designer will be Michaelangelo. We've got Leonardo Da Vinci doing the sets, your musical score will be an original work by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and your cast includes a young Laurence Olivier and the greatest actors of all time in supporting roles."
The Director can't believe it. "This is incredible," he says. "This will be the greatest movie ever?"
St. Peter kind of shuffles his feet. "Well," he says, "we do have one tiny little problem."
"Problem?" says the director. "What kind of a problem?"
St. Peter puts his arm around the director's shoulder, "Ya see," he whispers, "God's got this girlfriend..."

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